5 Dating Advice You Should Avoid

As we grow older, we hear and learn lot's dating advices from people around us, that we believe are useful but rather, dramatically reduce our dating potential. We accumulate beliefs or techniques on dating that sound good on paper but might do more harm than help.

Advices from our friends who don't even get laid or has a very bad dating life, romance movies that shows very unrealistic cliches, religion based limitting beliefs, cultural norms that categorize our sexual instinct as a taboo, those are just some of the things we get used to learn before we've been aware to pickup.

When we start doing pick up and realize that mainstream advice doesn't really work, it's still hard to unlearn those belief due to a long period of social conditioning, and in order to do that, we need to practice the new mindset in a consistent manner. During our pick up journey, there is a time that we will have the obsession to be very good and we read lot's of books and articles in order to make our progress even faster. However, there are still advice from other dating coaches that doesn't seem to work well in real life situation and for me, we should avoid it at all costs

These are the top 5 advice you should avoid:

1. Think before you speak - Trying to think what to say before the interaction and being 2 steps ahead only destroys the genuine intereaction. You will most likely run out of things to say or you won't deliver the message that you're thinking of in a right manner because you're thinking of what to say instead of being just in the moment. Pick up is all about the vibe and context, not about the actual words itself. Being overly conscious on what to say not only makes you look robotic and unnatural, it kills the vibe but and shows insecurity. A confident person doesn't really care if he messes up the interaction, and that's what let him express himself freely. However there is a borderline for being expressive and saying obviously stupid statement. You may have something very funny in your mind but it might piss of someone and thus kills the interaction.
2. Just be yourself - This is the most common phrase we always hear on every personal development instructors. The reason you're reading books and trying to improve yourself is because what you are right now is inadequate on the aspect that you want to improve. Being yourself doesn't always work. If you are naturally lazy, awkward, stupid, clumsy, fat, asshole, coward, insecure and unconfident, then being just yourself means that you will be lazy, awkward, stupid, clumsy, fat, asshole, coward, insecure and unconfident for the rest of your life.Be the best you can ever be. Move your ass off, improve yourself, learn things, read books, exercise, meet people, eat right, face your fear, compete on something, and don't ever stop
3. Don't text her right away - One of the things I always read from classic pick up forums is that you should wait for atleast a number of days before you send a text message on a girl that you have number closed. I don't really know what's the reason why they advice this, maybe for value prservation. But think about it, sending a single message to a girl that you hangout with awhile ago doesn't really look needy. When you try to get a girls's number, she already knows and expect that you will send her a message. On your recent interaction, her emotion or mood might be good, thus why she gave you her number, but if you text her after several days, her emotion is obviously not the same as before, and what's worse is she might already forget who you are if you did not have a very great conversation.
4. Be the bad boy, ladies are attracted to bad boys - Bad boy archetypes such as rockstars, gamblers, drug junkies, those are the guys usually get the hot chicks, and we can't really comprehend why the hell a girl so good looking, would even choose to date those guys compared to a nice guy who will treat them as princess and give them what they want. The truth is, it's not about being bad or jerk is what attract girls, it's about the confidence that they have. Just because there are more confident bad boys than nice guys doesn't mean you have to be a jerk. Practically, no one wants a rude asshole guy, it's about their traits of being brave, doing their own way, unneediness, sexual openness, non validation seeker and not giving a shit persona, it's the trait that attracts girls, and through practice, you can have all this traits and still continue being a good person.
5. Preserve value by not showing interest - This advice of preserving value is somehow helpful, since no girl would ever want a needy guy. But not showing any interest at all is where most newbies in pick up fail. Too much value preservation to the point of ingnoring a girl even she deserves your attention will just make her think that you don't really like her and might drive her away. There are some girls that might pursue the interaction if she really likes a guy, but they are very rare  as girls don't really have the balls to do that, and they don't want to be judged as a desperate woman or what's worse, a slut. If a girl shows genuine interest, being nice and compliant, she somehow deserve to earn your attention and interest. Showing exactly just enough interest in a right timing is a very important skill that you should learn when doing pick up.

Those are just some of the five advice you should avoid or take out of context. They are not entirely wrong, but if you take it literally and not even bother give time to understanding it, then you're doomed to fail. There are more of these things floating on the internet and we might just pick them up in our journey, without realizing what really helps or hurts. That's why it's very important for a newbie to have a mentor who can guide you all throughout the actual interaction. And one last note, when choosing a mentor, choose the one who has actual great results and one who practice what he preach.
date those guys compared to a nice guy who will treat them as princess and give them what they want. The truth is, it's not about being bad or jerk is what attract girls. It's about the confidence that they have. Just because there are more confident bad boys than nice guys doesn't mean you have to be a jerk. Practically, no one wants a rude asshole guy, it's about their traits of being brave, doing their own way, unneediness, sexual openness, non validation seeker and not giving a shit persona, it's the trait that attracts girls, and through practice, you can have all this traits and still continue being a good person.